miss jackson are you nasty?

I'm not quite sure when Janet Jackson's career went off a cliff. (Sorry, it's just "Janet." with the period, now. Whatever.) It definitely predated the whole Super Bowl nipple show, for which I Still Blame Timberlake...flashing that poor woman's boob while singing "Gonna have you naked by the end of this song" and then claiming it's a wardrobe malfunction, and letting her take the heat. I mean, really! Not cool, JT. We know you grabbed the wrong damn part of that rip off bra on purpose!

Back up from breasts to dear Janet; Miss Jackson if you're nasty. Love of her be damned, the fact remains that several consecutive albums have just not been doing it for me. And I say this having once been Hard Core for Ms. J. (Indeed. In one story from my past, yours truly can be found stripping for a bar full of guys to Janet's "Nasty" for New Year's Eve, with the 45 sluggishly playing at the wrong 33 1/3 speed. I know, I know. Grandpa's telling stories again. Let's save that one for another time, my sweets).

Now to be honest, every album she's done has always been about the Monster Dance Jams for me, and all else is padding. Discipline, her brand new disk for a brand new label, is out. It is being pushed as Very Edgy Dominatrix. In reality it is heavy on the ballads, which is a big problem. 22 tracks, and well over half are either a.) syrupy ballads featuring Ms. Jackson's nasal tse-tse fly range, or b.) spoken word "interludes" that seem a little too stuck in Rhythm Nation days to be fresh. I count 7 danceable songs total. Color me disappointed. Having persused the rest, it's already been sniffed & identified as garbage and jettisoned off my playllist.

Now: as for those upbeat tracks. I am no fan of the first track "Feedback". It seems so, I don't know, so second-rate-Britney. I half expect some skanky Lohan-esque thing to slink out singing some shit like this. Or an Olson twin. But it's beneath Janet frigging Jackson, you know?

And "Rock with U"? Is it really wise to remake your freaky pedophile brother's tracks, badly, and remind us all anew of your broken brother? I need a shower.

Sigh. Well, at least there is a Missy Elliot track, "The 1", with some promise. Any track that starts out talking about men with seven inches has my rapt attention. But one track, provocative as it may be, does not make a comeback. Better luck next time, dear.